Honest or rude?
SCENARIO 1:
A – *Makes coffee for B. Hands it over to B. B takes a sip*
A: “How’s the coffee?”
B: “It needs more sugar.”
Probably honest because if A made coffee for B and B has to drink it, it might be a good idea to ask for more sugar if needed.
Honest or rude?
SCENARIO 2:
A – *walks in looking very happy, wearing a quirky outfit.*
A: “Hi B”
B – “What the hell are you wearing? I have to be honest, this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen”
Definitely rude. A did not ask for B’s opinion and B has no business being honest here.
I have been mulling over the honest or rude question for years now. There is a fine line between being honest and voicing your insulting opinions under the cover of honesty.
I grew up believing that honesty is not always the best policy. In fact, I can be called a dishonest person sometimes, because I sugarcoat my responses to people so as not to hurt them. Don’t get me wrong. I do understand the value of being honest. I am truthful when it comes to the things that matter. When it comes to certain things though, I don’t think honesty is as important as sparing someone’s feelings. I mean, no one likes to be told that they look ridiculous or that they have gained weight or anything else that is hurtful. Why can’t people just treat others like they would want to be treated? It isn’t that difficult.
I have seen quite a few people just barging through life, forcing their honesty on people, oblivious to the hurt they cause. They call themselves honest. I call them rude. These are the same people who I have seen lie under more pressing circumstances where honesty really mattered.
In fact, the internet is splashed with memes that say “I’m not rude, I’m honest”. I guess it should be the other way round. The truth is that honesty is easy when it doesn’t affect one’s own life and most difficult when it does. It takes an effort to be kind.
Well, guess what, the world needs love & kindness more than it needs brutal honesty. The next time you are posed with such a choice, choose compassion. If you want to help someone with your honesty, find the right way to do it. Be kind when your honesty is unnecessary. It may put a smile on someone’s face for the rest of the day. Love yourself and spread the love to those around you.